So instead of being original in any stretch of imagination today, I’ve compiled a list of the top Market Misfit posts.  So here you are.

E-commerce and Online Marketing
An Ecommerce plan that Won’t Overwhelm You (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
Six Cool Ways to use Brand Marketing in Google Adwords Campaigns
Does a branded adwords campaign increase revenue?

SEO Tips, Tricks, and Aids
3 P’s of SEO and Why You’ll Fail Without Them
Doing Local SEO – How to get Local Business Reviews
Download my Fat List of Websites for Local SEO
Evaluating SEO As a Service (for your business)
How to Cherry Pick Quick SEO Traffic

Link Building
Download My List of Important Websites for Social Marketing and Promotions
Best SEO Promotional Marketing Opportunities with Social Media
Building Links through Volunteering Your Time

Content Writing
Finding the Best to Write Exceptional SEO Content

Making Money Online
How to Build and Promote a Profitable Niche Blog using Amazon and Google

Using WordPress
How to Check your WordPress Themes for Malicious and Hidden Code
Build Classy Sites and Increase Business with Premium Themes
Quicklist of my Favorite WordPress Plugins

I don’t always write guides, sometimes I write silly. Here’s a collection of some posts you may enjoy:

Tales of Deceptive Advertising
Crisco Vegetable Oil
Why you See All Those Dirty Catheter TV Commercials
You Deserve It – Entitlements in Advertising
Digiorno Pizza with WYNGZ
Hungry Man Frozen Meals

The Super-Awesome Stuff
Sears Website Really Sucks
Where is Tech Support Girl? (Stock Photography)
Trendy Corporate Logo Designs
The Facebook Cheater – PR For Your Personal Life

Show and Tell
My Data Loss Horror Story
Your Biggest Mistake is a Failure to Act (Teddy Roosevelt)
The Strange Bird I found in St. Louis City Similar Posts:

• Download My Fat List of Important Websites for Local SEO
• My Big Fat List of Important Websites for Social Marketing and Promotions
• Reasons to Love WordPress
• An E-commerce Marketing Plan that Won’t Overwhelm You – Part 1
• An E-commerce Marketing Plan that Won’t Overwhelm You – Part 2

Thursday nights are not a cooking night in the Lefever Estate. Beer and Pizza is usually on the menu, regardless of what’s going on, and I’m either enjoying a regularly scheduled hang-out with Tony, or a video game veg-out session with the company of our Loft Dogs.

So last Thursday, I stopped by Schnucks on the way home for the office in prep of traditional Thusday evening fare when lo and behold, DiGiorno has produced a new product.   Being the adventurous type, this one made my consumer sense tingle:  a double-thick box that includes not only the standard slab of doughy delicacy, but a side order of wyngz*.

I’m no stranger to novel meats, having been served everything from Missouri squirrel stew to shots of alcohol fermenting with dead snake. DiGiorno has accomplished a full re-branding of the “chicken wing” concept into something entirely different.

Wyngz*, in fact, may have moved the bar to a new threshold of what chicken can be.  The FDA-appeasing box makes it pretty clear that wyngz* are not “wings”, as we’re told that “wyngz*” contain no “wing meat”.     So, I must conclude that wyngz* must come from some other, equally tasty animal, like they chikynz.

So, my curiosity to see what a “wyng*” is compelled me to indulge.

Oven pre-heated and hungry for dinner, I opened the box.  My side of wyngz* lay atop my Supreme Frozen delicacy. A plastic-wrapped baggie of breaded, familiar shapes, about six of them and a small wad of breading that must qualify for the seventh wyngz* promised on the box.

Taking a closer look, I would call a wyng* a closer relative to the more familiar “chicken nugget” than I would a relative to the “chicken wing”.   And it’s boneless, and flapping a boneless wing is sort like flapping your… well, nevermind.

My side order of wyngs* also included a plastic pack of Honey BBQ Sauce, which I heated up and ported intravenously it into my veins:

Having “nugget” status is a downgrade from the “wing”, and it certainly makes no marketing sense to sell a premium frozen pizza with something called a “nugget”.  For lack of a better term, a premium pizza deserves a premium side, like the wyng*, which strangely has the same cooking instructions as the “nugget”.

I believe wyngz* make one thing clear to us all:  In food science, there is only one constant:  there is unlimited potential in ways to cut, dry, freeze, bread, flavor, and re-arrange pountry.

And for that, thank you, DiGiorno, for re-defining what chicken can be. And on the quest to re-invent the English language, let’s not stop with wyngz*.  My next side suggestions are: “Salid w/ Rizanch Dressyng*” and “Nah-chos*” as potential side options.Similar Posts:

• A Compilation of the Most Useful Market Misfit Posts
• Tales of Deceptive Marketing – Cracked.com’s List of 6 Words Advertisers Love and “Hungry Man” Frozen Meals
• Tales of Deceptive Marketing – Crisco Vegetable Oil
• Tales of Deceptive Marketing – “You Deserve It” and Entitlements in Advertising
• FireFox Plugins Every Web Developer or Web Promoter Should Have

6 Ways Marketers Think We’re Retarded

I hope you’ll all indulge me in a fun experiment the next time you’re in the grocery store.

Buy one product – a simply food product with high advertising budget and marketing appeal (ie, an energy drink can, a bag of chips, a juice container, a box of snake cakes or desserts, or perhaps a frozen meal).

When you get home, keeping in mind that every square centimeter of space on this package has been lovingly designed by an artist and written & edited by copywriters, take a close look at its packaging and read the printed copy.

A few things will probably happen:

1) You’ll realize how dumb companies and marketing agencies believe we are. There are, in fact, only a few words and shapes they aim to draw your attention to when shopping for a salad dressing.

2) You’ll notice many of these packages are designed to draw attention away from the most unimportant things, like nutrition or ingredients.

3) You’ll quickly realize, looking at the shelf, the product being sold is not the contents, but the fine graphic art and words of its packaging.

4) Along with the above, even the brand name doesn’t really matter. Does it matter if “Doritos” were really called “Lays”, and “Lays” were called “Doritos”? It really makes as much difference as if my name from birth had been “John” instead of “Adam”.

5) Contrast this with other food products and your own perceptions of them, like produce and meats. These products have no branding attached to them, generally, unless it is Del Monte Bananas individually wrapped in plastic, or calling some apples kickass names like “Pink Lady”, “Honeycrisp” and “Fuji” so we can find their deliciousness apart from the boring apples. They simply are what they are.

Case in Point: Frozen Foods – “Hungry Man”

Every now and then, a product comes along that is branded to be exactly what it says it is. And “Hungry Man” frozen food is just that. Let’s talk about frozen foods, a highly competitive market with several brands fighting for shelf space. On the outside, you have vibrant, colorful packaging with cartoons, cursive fonts, promises of weight loss and perhaps a smiling woman or two. And the foot looks effin’ delicious. Butter melted over soft noodles. Greasy steaks smothered with gravy and veggies. Pure American goodness.

But when you open it up, what do you find? A plastic/cardboard tray with a wad of frozen mass, literally crapped out of the bowels of an industrial facility, through a funnel and sheeted with plastic.

When I’m hankerin’ for a big meal, I must choose the frozen food product in the blue box with the word “Man” on it, because, well, I’m a man. And none of these “Lean Cuisines” and “Healthy Choices” can satisfy my man appetite. I can’t even chew a meal that small, in fact, I snort Lean Cuisine as a quick snack in between meals. Only a woman would consume such a thing and describe it as a “meal”.

“Hungry Man” accommodates my male appetite with a double dose of Salisbury steaks smothered in brown salt and oil is certainly not going to fit up my nostrils.

Nothing inside of this box is any different from any other Salisbury Steak frozen meal. The beauty of “Hungry Man” is its elegant packaging which provides an extra generous portion of industrial food dump and describes its intentions plainly with straightforward copy and imagery.

So let’s take “Hungry Man” at face value, as men generally do, and have a grocery store conversation with it: “Ladies, ignore this entirely. This gender-biased box of food is only for those packing a pair, so move your eyeballs to those little boxes promising tiny hips and a newfound love of yoga and holistic health. This is for men, real men, who enjoy buffet-sized portions of frozen delicacy. This will rock your spacious masculine bowels with 1 lb., yes a full 16 oz., of microwavable delight, and we even threw in a chocolate flavored brownie you can chew like cud in front of your spouse as she sneers and daintily pecks at some lame frozen pasta dish that comes in a portion fit for a starving vagrant.”

They even trademarked the phrase “It’s good to be full.” Awesome.

If you have a favorite packaged food product, please write in the comments below or send it my way!Similar Posts:

• Tales of Deceptive Marketing – It’s not Delivery, It’s Digiorno. They’re not Wings, they’re WYNGZ.
• Tales of Deceptive Marketing – Crisco Vegetable Oil
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• A Compilation of the Most Useful Market Misfit Posts

I do promise to the “meat” of this blog post (go ahead and skip to the Apps part if you want) but since I haven’t posted in weeks, allow me to blurt a somewhat verbose explanation of what I’m up to these days.

My fiction-writing journey so far has been enriching; it has evolved from merely documenting creative things to actually writing something coherent and readable. My characters have awakened with some sort of literary consciousness, my own imaginary simulated lifeforms described on digital documents. My right brain chugs furiously, transforming calories into energy that keeps the neurons firing strong even in my sleep (even my dreams seem to get increasingly more surreal and fantastic the more I think and write fiction).

As all of these ideas mature into a story, the pieces assemble themselves as they’re falling like a busy game of Tetris. My made-up universe has become so vivid today that I am responding to most questions about it with the same certainty as if someone had just asked me what I had for lunch on Sunday. (It was BBQ’ed burgers and about 7 pints of homebrew beer, by the way.)

It’s an undertaking, no matter how dutiful, and one I am enjoying. This book will get finished and to all of the published writers out there, and a nod to all of those who have been so supportive of my writing so far: Respect. You know who you are!

Most of what I’m working now is dialogue and character development, so I spend a significant amount of time in ways I imagine your stereotypical psych patient does: pacing floors, scribbling on whiteboards and in notebooks, talking aloud to myself, acting out how I think my characters would act, and jotting notes of things I observe and read.

My idle mind wanders, and my story unfolds in my mind in the most convenient places, for instance, the line at the DMV, or the relative calm and privacy of a bathroom.

Since this happens on a regular basis, and I’m horrible at remembering the numerous details that flutter in and out of my mind at a moment’s notice, one tool that has become invaluable to me in this crazy thing called writing has been my mobile… thing. It’s not a “phone” anymore to me; that’s just one of its many uses. Its phone-like qualities have been usurped by a number of other really useful traits, so I proclaim we generalize it a bit and just vaguely call it a “device”.

So my mobile device, (I prefer the massive EVO 4G from Sprint), has been instrumental to my writing. Here are some cool ways that mobile devices can help you with the writing process and apps to keep the word juice flowing.

The Internet is the most useful distraction for writing the world has ever seen.

Vast amounts of information, collected and compiled throughout human history, have been digitized in some way. And all of this data is mostly incessant noise designed to get your attention.

As I write, I use Internet reference tools to gather correct spelling/grammar usage, synonyms, antonyms, “Word Mining” for lack of a better term, fact-check, and fact-gather.

Having access to these tools on my mobile phone makes it convenient enough to get quick answers to things without compelling me to click and read another article about what Steve Jobs had for dinner last night. And, the small touch screen isn’t nearly as engrossing as my PC monitor.

I simply turn the Internet off on my PC and regress it to a simple Word processor, and use my EVO for these references. This keeps my mind on the important stuff and focuses my attention on my writing.

Awesome App: Dropbox

Purpose: To store files in an easy, accessible cloud from both PCs and mobile devices by adding its own folder to your Windows desktop.

Benefit: You will never lose your stuff, you can access it from both PC and any Android mobile device, and you can pretty much store anything you want.

How I’m Using it: I usually write on either my Laptop and Desktop. The biggest annoyance of working on things in multiple places at once is a surefire way to overwrite something important, or in the least make your files out-of-date or confusing.

The worst nightmare of all is losing all of your content if any of those devices crash. (Yes, it has happened.)

With Dropbox my files are safe, yet I can access them on any PC or my Mobile phone. This enables me to carry my work with me wherever I go.

The Dropbox “cloud” is free to set up (or paid, if you want more than 2 gigs of storage), and is very simple: On your PC, it creates a folder you can drag and drop files into. On your mobile device, you can save data to the same folder, open any valid document types, etc.

You can also share documents with other people by making folders in your Dropbox account “Public” and inviting them to share it with you.

Sign up for Dropbox free here. (Which by the way, the referral helps me out as well!)

Awesome App 2: Catch

I recently discovered Catch Notes through a fellow storywriter. Catch is mobile note-taking on steroids. Not to mention, it is also free. And freakin’ awesome.

Purpose: Taking notes, be it text, image, or voice recording.

Benefit: Collection and organization of pretty much anything you can think of, when you think of it.

How I’m Using It: At any time, I can touch the Catch icon on my screen and write text, snap a photo, or collect voice notes. When I’m done, I can add searchable hash tags to keep track of these ideas and what I was thinking about at the time. There are so many elements to storywriting, this helps keep these thoughts organized. Depending on what my notes are, I may use search-able hash tags like #charactername #philosophy #conversation, #act3, etc. so if I search for that topic I’ll find all of my notes I’ve placed for it.

This tool is free, yet so darn useful I’d have paid $10 bucks for it. Find it here.

Awesome App 3: Dictionary.com

Purpose: Even the kids who don’t “read good” know what a Dictionary or a Thesaurus is.

Benefit: It’s on your phone, which doesn’t weigh 2.3 pounds. Oh, and you can search.

How I’m Using It: Pretty much as you would ever use a dictionary or thesaurus. As I write, sometimes I’m not sure of the spelling or usage of a word. Or, I want a word that explains a little more precisely what I’m trying to convey. As I write, I’ll do quick spot-checks on these words and phrases.

Oh, and this app is free.

Awesome App 4: Wolfram Alpha

Purpose: Instant calculations of factual data in many, many, many categories.

Benefit: Make your writing more realistic with facts, measurements, and data.

How I’m Using It: I’m writing a science fiction book, so yeah, it’s fantasy fiction, which means my characters can say whatever they please. My favorite fantasy fiction is embedded with useful trivia and facts, things that are grounded in reality and have some hidden truths within, no matter how trivial, and as long as they’re interesting and help move the story along.

The sci-fi universe I’ve constructed in my mind parallels our own in many respects. We’re not flying around in space or traveling in time, but we do have a lot of kick-ass technology. Because my story is told with a timeline of progression, I still need some sense of grounding in reality to create the atmosphere I want.

There are situations like this in my book, where I want to have realistic measurements or calculations of things. You can use it online for free, but for a buck or two, this mobile app is well worth it.

Illustrating Concepts to Be Descriptive

One method I’ve been using lately to develop the details of my story settings and technology is by making (rather crude) illustrations of them.

Drawing forces me to consider the details about the physical appearance of things. By drawing out their shapes, I am forced to consider the minute details that I may have never other considered. My book isn’t illustrated, but this activity is far from a waste of time. Visually seeing it makes it more real to me, and with that knowledge I can in turn make my writing far more realistic and descriptive.

I will draw in a sketchbook or even on a napkin if that is all I have. But I most prefer drawing on the gigantic whiteboard wall in my bedroom. I will sometimes pull out a D marker and go crazy, making drawings, diagrams, charts, pictures, etc…. to try to visualize my concepts. When I run out of space, I take a series of quick snapshot with my Mobile phone, save it to Catch. Rinse and repeat.

Do you use your mobile device as a reference and/or notetaking tool? Do you have any other cool uses? Please add them to your comments below! Similar Posts:

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You Build it, We’ll Make it Better
The Roman Empire was not so much a creator of new technology, historically speaking, but they were incredibly conquerors and innovators of existing technology. The Romans took the very best of every civilization in the world they came across and integrate it into their own society and military.

Rome didn’t invent the aquaduct, but they built 11 of the largest aqueducts ever seen.

Rome didn’t invent the Trireme, but they did built a damn powerful one with some serious ramming power, and eventually conquered Carthage, the most powerful naval force in 300-200BC. (The Punic Wars)

Rome borrowed from Greek Gods and transformed them into Roman counterparts, waved high over the battlefields and found in art and literature. Rome took the best elements of the world’s art and architecture, gold and riches from Egypt and so forth.

If you could sum up the Roman Empire’s relationship with everyone else in one phrase, it is “You built it, now we’ll make it better.”

Google is the World’s Most Successful Internet Copycat
Google is similar in this aspect. They have a long standing tradition of finding the best opportunities on the Web and throwing their weight behind it, financially, productively, and in infrastructure. Google is an innovator – adapting the very best ideas into their culture, embracing it as their own, and improving upon it. The unique business model of “free” and a culture of innovation has made them enormously successful. But, likewise, Google rarely produces an original idea. And their grand strategy has never, and does not, require it.

Google is easily the Internet’s most successful and longest running copycat. And they do this very effectively, making products “one” with the Google brand, so whether acquired or copied, the origins aren’t really important anymore. Here are some examples:

Social Networking
Orkut (2004, no longer exists) – MySpace (2003), Facebook (2004)

Maps
Google Maps (2005) – Mapquest (1999)

PPC Advertising Model
Overture (1998) – Adwords (2000)

Internet Voice Chat
Google Voice (2009) – Skype (2003)

Video
YouTube (Acquired technology)

Web Analytics
Google Analytics (Acquired technology)

Mobile Operation System
Android (2008) – iOS (2007)

Internet Browsing
Chrome (2008) – Internet Explorer (1995), Safari (2003), FireFox (2004), and everyone before that.

Free Online Email
Gmail (2004) – Yahoo Mail (1997), Hotmail (1996), and Others

Business Coupons
Google Offers (Coming this year) – Groupon (2008)

The point is, very few if any of Google’s most successful products are original ideas. They were all copied and integrated into the Google brand in some unique form, launched with Google’s brand and influence to back it up.

Building a Profitable Empire
Building an empire does not start with conquering militarily – unless you intend to wipe out and segregate every living person of that society, the people will rarely join the side of their conqueror this way. The culture divide is vast, and often the conqueror finds growing contempt by the people left behind, and even rebellion. (Especially when it comes to taxing, so bear with me.)

Effective empire-building starts with trade. Trade agreements lead to roadways for merchants and travel (Think: Adding Google Search to Websites as a convenient search option), providing a reasonable means for merchants to profit (think: Adsense), and for growing the coffers through taxation (Think: Google profits from the Ad clicks). In the end, there is always a means to increase revenues, and working with Google means more markets and more money. And Google holds the reigns to the technology to keep them at the top of the heirarchy.

The grand strategy has nothing to do with developing something new and creative. Google rarely creates. Looking at the grand strategy, their success at its very core is as dated as Rome. The culture of sophisticated innovation, a means to profit, open roads, and securing revenue to fund further innovation allows them to grow rich, sustain influence and grow more powerful.

So shut up, You Crybabies
A Roman would never whine, kick and scream, accusing someone else of “copying”. Rome also wouldn’t seek out and “>endulge their feelings to popular bloggers to write about it.

Could you imagine the most powerful force in the world, crying about being “copied” because some other army builds a Roman-esque battering ram instead of throwing rocks at the door? No. The Romans would drive them away with every last resource they had, and even if they did suffer a defeat, it wasn’t long before they boldly marched right up the gates of their enemy with something more powerful and innovative, usually borrowed and improved upon from another conquered people. Then the conversation goes something like this: “You came with our battering rams, we here with the onager. Do your worst.”

To Google: Being Number 1 gives you responsibility, influence, money, and power. Suck it up, because whining about Bing, whether they are copying or not, makes you look weak and pitiful.

Be like the Romans and keep doing what you do best. Stick to the grand strategy: Shut up and make things better.Similar Posts:

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Hello,

Thanks for notifying us of this issue, which our engineering team will address as soon as possible.

In the meantime, please feel free to contact us again if you have additional questions. We apologize for any inconvenience you may have experienced.

Sincerely,
The Google Checkout Team

We understand The Google is busy creating the next big Wave. But this response have the sense of passive neglect, similar to what you’d expect from The Dell or The AT&T. Maybe we should be happy we got a response at all? Similar Posts:

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And this B.S. spectrum is far and wide, from “Did you vote for Hillary?” ads in Yahoo e-mail, to pseudo-science presented in spectacular high-tech 3d imagery, to listing the most unpleasant side effects of drugs in a pleasant female tone that makes a sex phone operator jealous, to touting the art of crafting light beer with iconic American imagery & bursting at the loins like a patriotic beer-gasm… coming from a company with a mission statement of: “…to become the best beer company in the world measured by profitability.”

None of this B.S., no matter how silly or false, bothers me one bit. We all make decisions in the types of products we like to purchase, based on our own needs and desires, and at some point, we all have been suckered into buying stupid crap, like rotating exercise chairs or Vivitar’s old stock of cheap film cameras.

The economy keeps burning, and the world keeps turning.

But there is one sucker technique that really erks my tweaker. It’s a personal pet peeve. This is where my story and rant begins.

Leaving the gym yesterday, lightheaded and high on life, a radio commercial with a charming, cheery voice chimes to inform me I “deserve” their product.

What did I do to merit, qualify, or stake claim to a McDonald’s Cheeseburger, a home mortgage, or an enormous Starbucks Trenta coffee, Ms. Radio Announcement Lady? What tidbit of knowledge did you find out about my personal achievements? Is it because I’m irresistibly sexy? Because I drop change in those red buckets every Christmas?

Even the very definition of deserve mocks entitlement advertising:

to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation

The real stupidity of this messaging comes down to this: advertising is a one-way conversation. With no regard to any need or desire, a potentially useful, clear-cut sales pitch simply relies on vanity and our most basic instincts. It assumes (stupidly) the product is so OMG FREAKING INCREDIBLE that I, in fact, not only should to purchase it, but I’m somehow entitled to do so.

But perhaps you’re wrong, Ms. Radio Announcement Lady. It’s more likely, on some days, that I really deserve a kick in the teeth, a branding with a hot curling iron, or a kick in the arse (preferred over the teeth kick or the curling iron…)

This descriptive language that aims to provide a sense of entitlement is not a new technique in advertising; it’s a run-of-the-mill by-product of petty consumer culture that we should feel entitled to spend our money on anything at all.

And yes, telling someone they deserve something isn’t deceptive as much as it is ignorant; these idiotic 30-60 second bits aim to achieve sale by playing on the most base, irrational feelings that we somehow are deserve something because 1) we want it and 2) we’re told we deserve it.

Below I’ve summed it up in an amazing science based visual demonstration. Go on, read it. You deserve to:

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We’ll discuss some ways, but first we should identify who we’re really after and why. It’s very simple…

Motivation & Means

Motivation – How charged up is someone is to leave a review? Why should they care at all? Do they ever consider leaving a review for your business? Motivation to leave feedback can be for any reason at all, and tends to dissipate over time if no action is taken.

Means – Are your customers aware they can leave a review on the Internet? Are they aware of YP.com, Yelp, MerchantCircle, or Google Places as a way to leave their feedback about your business? Do they have accounts on any of these sites, and a convenient and timely method of leaving feedback before they lose motivation? Does your average customer savvy with using a PC, are they online on a regular basis, and/or do they have a mobile device outfitted with social media?

It works like this:
The more motivated a customer is, the more likely they’ll find their own means of reviewing. Leave someone feeling good? If they’re not prompted to review, they’ll likely go about their daily business thinking about weather, sports and what’s for dinner. Ruin someone’s day? Expect them to tell everyone.

Let’s say realistically, you get two angry reviews in a month. One customer every month is totally blown away by your amazing service and drops a review on Google Places. This leaves you with three reviews every month. But if this ratio of 2:1 continues every single month, it won’t be long before your online reputation looks overwhelmingly negative.

We don’t need to look at these three reviewers, though. All businesses are going to have these “three reviewers” and you can’t control that. It is the un-motivated 97% is who we are after; if you could pick the brains of this large chunk of your customer base, you’ll likely find a diverse mixture of opinions, thoughts, criticisms and compliments.

Providing convenient means and the motivation for the bulk of your customer base absolutely essential to the competition-stomping credibility you want. Let’s discuss some ways to get their attention.

How to Get Positive Online Reviews For Your Business

Add a Computer At your Store Location – Put a PC in the lobby. Add shortcuts (Google Places, Yelp, etc.) and a desktop background image (or tape a sticker to the PC) explaining how to leave a review. This is especially useful for any location with a waiting room, where customers tend to just idly sit and wait for their turn. (Car dealerships and repair centers, doctors/dental offices, etc.) Place instructions as well as a shortcut on the desktop to various review sites along with instructions on leaving a review.

Use QR Codes Directed to a Review Page – QR Codes are so darn convenient for consumers with smartphones, and useful for business owners especially since they’re free. Android users are also likely signed into a Google account, or at least have one already. Put put a flier on-site at the point of purchase, on a business card, on store receipts, stickers, menus, or even the product package that directs a customers’ mobile device right to a special landing page, or to the Google Places page where customers can instantly hammer out a review.

Here are some sites you can use to create QR Codes, some that offer paid packages that include Analytics:

• http://www.beqrious.com/generator
• http://qrcode.kaywa.com/
• http://delivr.com/qr-code-generator

Ask for a Positive Review – While never asking will result in the occasional review, if you want positive reviews, be pro-active about asking for them. Simply ask them if they had good service, when they say yes, ask them politely to leave a review for you. When asked how, have business cards or fliers with QR codes and a landing page they can visit on your Website that explains how to review. If your staff are asking for reviews, make a game out of it to see who can get the most customer reviews. You can also ask them for their e-mail address or to drop their business card in a fish bowl and follow up with them later about their experience.

Create a Follow-Up E-mail – Whether your customers visit your retail location or purchase from you online, collect their e-mail address. Follow up with them in 2-3 weeks; thank them for their business, ask them if they are happy with their purchase and politely request a review. And to sweeten the deal, you can also provide…

Incentives – I’ve found simply throwing a coupon out there and asking for a review in return works well. This technique alone probably converts 2-3% of customers into reviewing. I never demand someone submits a review to get a discount, just simply ask for it as a generous favor in exchange for the coupon. Typically, your average customer will spend the time to leave their honest opinions if they want to use the discount.

Online Review Etiquette – What Not to Do

Phony Reviews – Don’t pay someone (outsource) to leave a bunch of phony reviews for your business. Don’t post fake reviews. Websites will remove false reviews or even penalize if you’re caught, and you don’t want to be “that guy” with phony reviews. It doesn’t look good.

Entering Handwritten Reviews – It’s tempting to collect paper reviews and write them in yourself, but it’s walking a fine line; this violates the Terms of Service of many Websites. Even though the reviews may be honest and real, I would be cautious of submitting reviews this way.

What to do with Negative Reviews

It doesn’t matter how justified the opinion is, it happens sometimes. There isn’t much you can do with negative reviews themselves, although many Websites will allow you to report abuse (spam, personal information, lewd/rascist comments) or respond to reviews. Fortunately, many of the most important review sites will allow you to submit a response:

• Google Places
• CitySearch
• Judy’s Book
• Yelp
• Superpages
• Yahoo!

A tip on responding: If the tone is polite and aims to resolve the matter, and the comments made address the negative review directly, most readers are more apt to be forgiving and understanding about stinky reviews.

Need to get your business into local site listings?

Please see my last post on Do It Yourself Local SEO, which includes a big list of important Local Websites so you can get your local business found online!

Any more ideas for getting local reviews?

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post on local SEO and business reviews. Have you seen or used any other methods of getting local business reviews? Let’s share ideas; add your comments below!

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• Download My Fat List of Important Websites for Local SEO
• There Can Only Be One Adam Lefever – Evaluating Your “Brand” in the Google Search Results
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• A Compilation of the Most Useful Market Misfit Posts
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In 2010, Google dedicated a lot of resources to collect information about businesses and confirming its authenticity. There is no doubt 2011 is the year where local search and SEO converge. It’s a force that can no longer be ignored; the way you conduct business online (and offline) absolutely matters to securing new business in your local community.

So hear me out, because when we’re through, you’ll have my personal list of 70 important sites to save you hours of time.

Why Local Search Matters for All Businesses

People will always need to locate local services and products, and typically don’t want to drive further than 5-10 miles to find them. As a society, we now depend less on traditional means of finding these local businesses and services:

- Phone directories (the cost of advertising often isn’t worth it anymore)
- Newspapers (losing readership for years)
- Telemarketing (do not call lists)
- TV (people just record their shows)
- … and even direct mail is not only expensive, but often simply pitched by the receiver. The high cost of production and post combined with low conversion makes this ineffective for the small business owner.

Even if I’m totally wrong about Local and SEO, it’s still important for any business. Why? Because many small businesses, including those without Websites, are now online. Thanks to Google Places, many small businesses now have an optimized page waiting for reviews and feedback. This is critical for small businesses and cannot be ignored any longer.

Example: A Google Search for “st. louis plumbers”.
Notice below there are several large pegs marking plumbing businesses; most or all of these have claimed their Google Places page. All of them have at least a Website and/or reviews. Those smaller dots? Businesses not in the top 10 local results, many without Websites, many without reviews, and it’s very likely most of them are completely unaware a Google Places page about them exists:

Local Search, Online Conversations and SEO

For businesses with a substantial portion of business online, it matters even more. Online Local search is also becoming a factor in how your business is found in the Top 10 Search Results. Google is watching social signals to determine site rankings now, and if you look closely at Google’s business pages, they’re even using keywords in reviews to determine positive/negative sentiment.

Example with a local St. Louis pizzeria:

How to Enhance your Local Presence Online

This is going to transform the search landscape dramatically. So if you’re serious about marketing your business online, it is now more important than ever that you do these things:

1) Claim your Google Places page
2) Claim your business on all of the most important online directory sites.
3) Ensure all of the information, descriptions, and categories for your business are correct.
4) Get positive reviews to your business.

Get Started Today: Download my List of Important Local Sites

Submitting your site around the Internet is incredibly boring, tedious, and confusing. I’m knee-deep in online promotions every day, so I’ve already done the boring work of locating these Websites and their submission pages so you don’t have to.

Below is a downloadable spreadsheet with around 70 of the most important Websites for local SEO, the links to submit to them, a confirmation if their reviews are indexed by Google Places, and any more relevant notes/information I have about that directory. They are categorized first by the most important Websites, a list of second-tier directories, and a list of niche vertical local sites in case your business falls under any of those categories.

Enjoy:

List of Important Websites for Local SEO

• How to get Positive Local Business Reviews in Google
• My Big Fat List of Important Websites for Social Marketing and Promotions
• A Compilation of the Most Useful Market Misfit Posts
• There Can Only Be One Adam Lefever – Evaluating Your “Brand” in the Google Search Results
• SEO for Business – Where do we go from here?

In fact, I think the only thing I didn’t do enough of is write my book. So, for 2011, my resolution is to produce a manuscript. I can’t sit on my ideas anymore. It’s time to produce something. 2010 was resolution-less; spending most of the year swimming on the surface, catching the waves, enjoying life at a month-to-month pace. Looking backwards, I suppose I was unintentionally just waiting for 2011 to start fresh again.

Make a resolution for yourself, and stick with it. Make it to produce something, overcome something, learn something, or just do something you can look back on in the next year and feel a sense of progress and hopefully a little self-actualization. Be ambitious but realistic.

And if you tell me what it is, I’ll hold you to it. And there you have it; your New Years pep talk.

Update on the Guide to Blogging
Despite the setbacks in my schedule and almost losing it entirely on my crashed PC, the proposed “Guide to Blogging” from a couple months back is still on the table. I have gobs of content written, and most of the portions have at least some material completed.

That said, it’s taking on a slightly different form. (Psst, by the way, did you notice I slipped in a snazzy logo for Market Misfit a week ago? About time, eh? I digress…) Instead of making a member’s guide book as I had planned, the content will be dispersed through a series of posts on Market Misfit over time and rounded up on a single page, divided into easily digestible sections.

Why I’ve changed directions:

1. I have a lot of content on Market Misfit now that will go into the guide. It just makes sense cross-linking vs. doing double work.
2. My New Year Resolution is to get cracking on my novel. I need time for reflection vs. constant self-promotion of my marketing work.
3. More flexibility; I’m behind on completion and originally planned to release a full guide. By rolling out the content in a series of posts, I think less about perfection and more about sharing the information.
4. I can later produce it into a single, finished & coherent PDF with QR Codes to the videos I’m planning.

Thanks to EVERYONE who signed up for a copy of the guide. I appreciate your support, all the compliments I’ve received this past year on Market Misfit, and for your readership. It means a lot. The content of the guide hasn’t changed, I’m just presenting it differently. You are still going to get all of the content, totally free, available on Market Misfit whenever you want it.

When?
The page is already in the works, but with the Christmas/Holiday combo and friends crashing in my office, I haven’t had the chance to work it out. Expect an initial, partially completed guide beginning in January.

Have a WONDERFUL New Years. Look forward to seeing you in 2011.

Regards,
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